vires in notitia

Alas, I am not Fern Brady

Posted on Jul 1, 2026

Your Task

Perform the best instrumental cover version of “It’s me, Fern Brady, me Fern Brady!” from the “Write a classic song” task.

This task appeared in Episode 4 of Series 14 of UK Taskmaster.

Bonus points are also available for providing a convincing extension to the original.

Best instrumental cover version wins the task!

The Original

The Instrumental Cover Version

The full lyrics for those who wanted to sing along to the instrumental, although there are currently no new lyrics for the new additions.

Here we are again, series fourteen

Who will become the house’s queen?

It is me Fern Brady, me Fern Brady

I’m the rightful queen

Dilapidated house filled with mystery

Whoever bloody knows what we will see

Only one contestant will achieve

The height of victory

And the tasks were serendipitous

They were gift to the Taskmistress

All the other contestants

They were boot-licking sycophants

Dara’s a big bald imbecile

Mr. Kearns is an obsequious child

And Sarah & Munya are losers

And I’ll stamp on their toe

The Full Version of the Task

What Have We Learnt Today?

We’ve learnt that, all things considered, alas, I am not Fern Brady.

I also recently finished Fern Brady’s memoir “Strong Female Character”, which I was thoroughly entertained and educated by. She details her late in life diagnosis as an autistic women and not fitting the typical stereotypes associated with people with autism (there are different indicators for men and women).

Here are some useful links if you want more information on the book:

She does briefly mention how her obsession with learning to place Mozart Piano Sonatas (of which Rondo Alla Turca does belong to as it is the 3rd movement of Piano Sonata No. 11 in A major, K. 331 / 300i) was a potential indicator to autism, and her time on Taskmaster (her meltdowns can be triggered by odd lighting setups, why she frequently proclaimed that she was tired).

Moderated Honks from The Flock